It's All in you Head
by Kage Mizu
Summary: Two Slytherin's one's a mudblood the other's a Voldemort Supporter. In their 6th year, they must learn to work together, while corrupting the school, and not killing each other...or worse- touching each other's stuff. warning: pansy bashing,swearing.etc..
1. 1 the train

Christina: Hi. This is another co-writing expedition, this one in Harry Potter.

Erin: Yay! Read the pretty chapter!

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Riley Clyde woke up in her comfortable queen sized bed. Her blood red velvet and silk blankets were tightly wrapped around her thin body. Her house elf Cobbler hastily ran into her large room and opened the curtains, the blinding sun flowing into her room. Her tiger cub jumped off her bed and began to stalk Cobbler. Cobbler walked over to Riley.

"Miss, it's time for school you must get up." Cobbler said.

Riley groaned and grabbed her wand and muttered something, closing the curtains. She got out of bed and glared and her house elf.

"How many times must I tell you, never open the curtains." Riley growled.

"Yes miss." Cobbler said, he knew Riley was just in a bad mood, she was usually pretty nice to Cobbler.

She walked into her bathroom to take and shower and change. All her bags were packed, she missed her old school, and her old friends back at Durmstrang. Riley changed into her robes; she could know apperate into the station.

Riley walked down the halls of her mansion and walked into the breakfast room where her parents were. Her father was reading the Daily Prophet while her mother was polishing her wand. Riley sat down and ate her breakfast, she still had an hour to spare. Cobblers ran into the room with Riley's pet, a white Siberian tiger cub, Ice chasing after the poor elf. Riley got up and picked up Ice and fed her some warm milk from his bottle. Her father looked up from his news and looked at the time.

"Riley hurry up, you know where to apparate to right?" Thomas Clyde asked.

"Yes daddy." Riley said.

"Riley put Ice down and eat your breakfast, you can feed him on the train." Kylie Clyde said.

"Ok, mom." Riley said putting her precious baby down, Riley hurried to finish her breakfast.

Once they were all ready to leave for the platform 9¾ the three Clyde's took Riley's luggage and apparated with a 'pop'. Riley landed on the stone bricks of the platform with the scarlet train in front of her. Her father was straightening his tie, while her mother was straightening out her robe. Cobbler was standing by Riley clenching onto the back of her robes.

"Cobbler, take Riley's bags and put them in the compartment." Thomas said.

Cobbler levitated the trunk and Ice's cage and waited for Riley to say Goodbye to her parents.

"Riley, make sure you're on your best behavior, remember what I told you about the Malfoy's, and don't forget, you're cousin is going to visit in Christmas so make sure you come home." Kylie said.

"Yes mother." Riley said.

"Make us proud." Thomas said. "Set an example for the younger Slytherins."

"Yes Father." Riley said before walking up to the train.

Cobbler quickly followed after Riley and dropped her bags at her compartment before leaving. Riley looked out the window and saw a family or red heads walking by, she sighed and leaned on the back of the seats. A few minutes later the train began to move, and began to make its way to Hogwarts.

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Meanwhile, in a common muggle home in suburban England, Slaine Murphy rolled over, and tried to pretend that her brother's clock radio wasn't ringing all to hell and back. Stumbling out of bed, Slaine raked her dyed black hair (and consequently yelped when her fingers got caught in the typical over dyed hair tangles), and stomped into her little brother's room. With her pale skin, tousled hair, and black pj's, Slaine was not something you wanted to see first thing in the morning.

"SHUT YOUR DAMN ALARM OFF, WHELP!!" Slaine screeched at her brother, Robert, with all the eloquence of someone who's been woken from a nice dream. Robert, jolted from his sleep, saw his elder sister, and did the only thing that seemed sane- he screamed.

"MOM!! DAD!! THE CRAZY BITCH IS IN MY ROOM AGAIN!!" Robert screeched, sounding equally unhappy at being woken up. Robert's screeching woke up the parental units of MOM™ and DAD™. And that brought everyone, newly woken up, and in varying stages of pissed off, into Robert's room, glaring at Slaine, (and Slaine's invisible acquaintances followed the crowd, and glared at Slaine too.)

Slaine's mother, also known as Myrtle Murphy, shook her head carefully at Slaine,

"Dear, have you taken your-" she began, only to be interrupted by Slaine.

"No, I haven't taken my bloody pills. Until about a minute ago, I was asleep. But then asshead's alarm went off, and it bloody woke me up. I went in to tell him to turn off his alarm." The annoyed and smugly superior tone that Slaine employed was ruined by a sudden, sneak-attack, impossible to stifle yawn. Shaking her head at the assembled people, Slaine turned on her heel, stumbled, and headed back to her room, tossing a 'screw it. I'm going back to bed' over her shoulder.

Entering her room, Slaine slammed the door shut, and headed for her bed, burying herself under the dark blue quilts. Once burrowed under about three different quilts, Slaine smiled to herself, and curled up, closing her eyes. She had about four minutes of peace, before realizing that the Hogwarts-train-taking was _today_ and she still had to finish packing. Swearing, she rocketed out of her nest, and tore around her room, picking seemingly random items out of the piles of stuff that collect around teenagers rooms during summer, and throwing it in a large trunk.

Once her room had been torn apart in the search for school stuff (wonders of owl post), and her trunk managed to resemble a Martha Stewart style packing arrangement (providing, of course, that Martha Stewart had been on crack when she'd done it), Slaine had headed to the bathroom, and made herself human-ish (you know, teeth brushing, face washing, hair brushing, liberal application of eyeliner...ing.), and then dragged the same necessities to her trunk, where they were thrown in. Staring around her room, she noted that her bottle of pills was still on her dresser. Sighing angrily, Slaine downed one of them, and then threw them into her trunk.

Dragging the trunk down the stairs, Slaine wondered where her mom would be, then decided it would be easier to put those years of drama to use.

"MOTHER! I NEED A RIDE TO KING'S CROSS STATION!!" Damn, Slaine thought, I still sound all scratchy...ah well.

Once her mother had consented to driving her, Slaine had immediately tried to con her mom into letting her drive. Her mother saw through it, and Slaine was left in the passenger seat, glaring at the radio for not playing her favourite songs. Finally Slaine slid a cd into the car's CD player, and smirked. Now, _this_ was good music.

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Riley had let her baby tiger out of his crate; she had left Ice to do what he wanted while she finished her letter to her cousin. She looked around the compartment for Ice, Riley ran out of the compartment and began searching around for her precious pet.

She smiled as she saw Ice, perfectly safe, playing with a black cat. She ran to her cat, not noticing the other girl that was also running towards the felines. The two girls ran right into each other in a head-on collision. They fell back howling in pain. The two girls let out a string of curses.

They shot off the ground and glared at each other. Riley looked over Slaine, letting the cold disgust make little frosty swirls on the windows.

"A mudblood." She growled with utter loathing.

"Stow it, bitch." Slaine hissed. The silence was pretty painful.

Before a fight commenced, the two pets meowed or roared. Immediately, the fight was forgotten. The girls eyes softened and they grabbed their pets and snuggled with them.

"Aw, my poor widdle Icy, are you ok? Do you need anything? A rare ahi tuna steak with lemon sauce? Aww I wuv you so much." Riley said in a baby voice, scratching Ice under the chin.

"Aw, my poor sweet murderess, are you ok, oh denizen of death? It's alright, I'm here, and I've got a knife" Slaine murmured to the cat, sounding more like a minion than and owner.

They shot each other a vicious glare before walking back to their own compartments.

In their own compartments, each girl rolled her eyes, and had a little snicker at how stupid the other was. Then Riley began to talk animatedly with the other people in the compartment.

"So, Draco, how's the trial for your father going? Riley asked, glad that her and someone she knew for once had a common ground to talk on (sure, it centered on worshipping a dark lord, and killing anyone deemed unworthy, but it was a common ground!)

"Well enough. After all the generous donations my father's given to various causes in the ministry, its highly unlikely he's going to Azkaban, or even be charged." Riley smirked.

"That's good. So, would it be alright if I cited this on my essay on the uses of bribery? You know my parents- want me to prove I'm evil and conniving enough before I get anywhere _near_ deatheater-ship." Draco winced- he knew exactly what she was talking about, except he'd never had to write essays.

"Yeah, go ahead." He said, waving a hand vaguely. Riley grinned brightly, and made a mental note to find out more specifics about the bribes.

"How was your summer?" Pansy asked, boredly, obviously using the question as a conversation starter. Riley shrugged; Pansy was another person she knew through her parents.

"The typical summer, went to the family manor in Avalon, spent time reviewing the dark arts- in case anyone cares, I can now recite the ten favourite spells of Grindewald, took care of the cat (she ruffled Ice's ears), practiced my flying, which I'm still bullocks at. Y'know, typical summer. Had the manor to myself half the time, since my parents were off...working." Working was said with that special smirk that had the double meaning of 'helping Voldemort take over the world'. It was met with a few appreciative chuckles, and then Riley shrugged

"And what of your summer?" She asked, the question going to the person who had asked her, but she was keeping steady eye contact with Draco while she asked. Pansy immediately went off on a 'slightly' exaggerated tale of a summer spent with the most glamorous of the dark lord's servants. Riley couldn't help but hide a condescending smirk- there was no way Pansy could have been learning the finer points of 'Crucio' from Bellatrix Lestrange, not since the witch had spent nearly the entire summer working feverishly at whatever Voldemort was planning.

Draco caught sight of the smirk on Riley's lips just before she made it vanish, and gave the barest of smiles in return. Though she didn't show it, Riley's mind made several incredibly vigorous 'happy dances' and finished off with mentally yelling at Pansy 'he won't be yours for much longer!' and then, to herself, 'must discredit the Parkinson's in Lucius Malfoy's eyes.' Yes, just the normal train ride for a Slytherin teen.

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Meanwhile, Slaine reveled in the lovely emptiness of her compartment. Not many people would willingly sit in the same compartment with her, and that suited her just fine. She liked her rather anti-social personality, and liked the fact that people usually left her alone. Except in her rare moments of complete and utter lucidity, when she decided that sanity scared her, and she wanted someone else to be present. But those moments are few and far between, so it's ok.

"Hello?" A voice asked, on the other side of the compartment's door. It sounded vague, and interested in something very far away.

"Hello." Slaine replied, deciding that the girl couldn't be that bad- she sounded distinctly 'opium high'. Well, at least she thought that she did.

"Can I sit here? Everywhere else is full, and I got stares shot at me when I sat with them." The voice said, sounding vaguely disappointed. Briefly, Slaine wondered her 'they' were.

"Depends- are we going to be talking lots?" Slaine decided bluntness was the best course of action.

"I should think not. I've got the new edition of the Quibbler, and I'd like to read that." Slaine had no idea what the Quibbler was, but she figured that it was probably better than talking.

"Sure, come on in, and let's get the introductions out of the way. I'm Slaine Murphy, sixth year, Slytherin, but no, I'm not working for Voldemort. You?" Slaine rocketed the words at the girl, as she pulled open the door. The girl, a shorter blonde, with wide, slightly bulging pale eyes, came in and sat down.

"I'm Luna Lovegood, fifth year, Ravenclaw...I don't work for him either." Slaine smiled shortly, and what she hoped was knifelike.

"Lovely. Now, I am going to take out the latest World Weekly News, and be left alone." Luna made no reply to Slaine's snippish remark, choosing to open up a tabloid-like magazine that had the 'Quibbler' written in a modern style typeface.

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Christina: Well this is our first chappie done...in a weirdish way...I s'pose....well........REVIEW!!!! please??


	2. 2 WHAT!

Chapter Two- You know it's a bad day when...

Erin: We're back.

Christina: Not dead yet.

Erin: Hurrah!

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The train slowed to a halt, and the students left, eager for the chance to stretch their legs. Slaine jerked awake, and realized that she'd fallen asleep, halfway through an article on gay alien space pilots. Her stomach growled, telling her that she'd slept through the nice lady with a trolley full of candy. Rubbing her eyes, to clear them of sleep (and then cursing loudly as her careful over-application of eyeliner became two large coalish smudges vaguely centered around her eyes), Slaine left the train, yawning continuously.

Riley was thoroughly bored now. Somehow, Crabbe and Goyle (at least, that's what she thought their names were) had managed to manipulate the conversation. This meant that it had gone downhill fast. In the end, she'd resorted to talking to Pansy Parkinson, who, despite infatuation with Draco Malfoy, and the tendency to exaggerate, was actually an alright conversationalist. Nevertheless, getting out of the train had been a relief.

"Dude...I love those horseless carriages" Slaine said, with a grin. Ok, so now she knew that they weren't horseless, but were pulled by invisible, apparently lizardlike winged horses, but she'd never seen anyone die, so it still looked invisible. Which was cool.

However, while Slaine was staring at the not horses, Riley was grinning brightly at them. The thestrals, being in their right minds, were a little intimidated by this. Riley ignored the aggravated horse sounds, and gently stroked the muzzle of one. The grin on Riley's face as the thestral warmed to her was almost innocent. Draco came up behind her, a bemused look on his face.

"You can see them?" he asked, pointing to the lizardlike horse. Riley nodded

"Yeah. How'd Dumbledore get thestrals to pull carriages?" Riley asked, deftly steering the subject. Draco shrugged.

"No idea." At this point in the conversation, Slaine, who had been watching Riley pet what looked like air, to interrupt.

"SEE?! I'M NOT THE ONLY SCHITZO AT HOGWARTS!!" Slaine yelled triumphantly, pointing at Riley, and then she grinned brightly.

"AND SHE'S WORSE THAN I AM!!" Malfoy shook his head,

"Just ignore her." He said, disdainfully. Riley smirked

"I already was. What house is she in, again?" Riley asked, her tone saying that whatever house it was, it held her utter disdain. Draco shook his head, sighing unhappily.

"The mudblood is the undying disgrace of the Slytherin house." He said. Riley's jaw dropped.

"No. Way." She said, in shock, "I thought Slytherin's were supposed to be smart, cunning and ruthless?" Malfoy sighed.

"They are." He said, disdainfully. Riley raised an eyebrow, and darted a glance back at Slaine, who seemed to be on the verge of falling asleep. Riley couldn't help it- at the moment, with her smudged eyeliner, half-asleep position; Slaine didn't look smart, cunning or ruthless. She looked like a cuddly thing from Nightmare before Christmas. It was sad.

"Shall we ignore the disgrace, and continue off?" Draco asked, grimacing.

"Yes. Lets." Riley said, stepping into the carriage.

The carriage ride continued with silence in Slaine's carriage, and much happy talking in Riley's.

The garbled conversation made Slaine's ears twitch, and she resisted the urge to cover them. Instead, she settled for giving surprisingly vicious glares to anyone who talked too loudly. The best reaction came from a younger girl with bright red hair- she _squeaked_! Slaine giggled, and so did other things. Riley caught a glance of Slaine, hands covering her mouth, as she giggled at something incomprehensible- horrible example of a slytherin. The best of Slytherins, Riley had read, were aloof, cool, and obviously superior. Slaine, upon seeing that the door to the great hall was open, walked though it, haughtily.

In the great hall, at the Slytherin's table, there is a hierarchy. Older students sit closer towards the teachers table. Highly respected older students get to sit near the end of the table, and get the last cookies. The lower the 'rank' of the student, the farther they sit from the front of the table. And they definitely do not sit anywhere _near_ the salt. Therefore, Slaine, being considered the weirdest of the weird, sat by herself at the other end of the table, and didn't use salt on any of her food (why wait the amount of time, anyways?).

Riley stood in the line for sorting, glancing imperiously at any foolish enough to a) come to close, or b) look at her. Some of the first years squeaked. Again. However, having a last name that begins with 'C' can put an end to your glowering pretty quickly.

"Clyde, Riley." Professor Mcgonagall called out, and Riley walked up to the stool, keeping her pace slow and measured. Riley sat down on the stool, managing to look like a queen in her court. Carefully the hat lowered down onto Riley's head. Or at least, in theory that's what it was supposed to do. The hat hadn't even been let go of by Proffessor Mcgonagall, when it yelled

"SLYTHERIN!!" And, as the hat departed, Riley could have sworn it was muttering 'get it off, get it off, get if off' continuously. Riley shrugged, and headed over to the slytherin table, where a seat had been saved for her, by Draco.

Slaine watched the sorting with a bemused half-interest. She remembered when she'd been sorted, the hat had asked her to make the choirs to stop singing. Slaine had pointed out that the choirs didn't stop. They just sang, rather constantly, and they weren't that difficult to ignore. The hat had muttered, but continued to sort, eventually yelling 'Slytherin!', and then muttering that one of the tenors was out of pitch. Slaine had spent her first night in Hogwarts listening carefully to see if the hat was right. It had been.

"Oooh! Food! CompleteandtotalSCORE!" Slaine chirruped, grinning insanely. First years scooted away, while from down the table Draco talked to Riley.

"And it'd be fine if she was an amazingly gifted seer, but she can only read Tarot cards, and stay awake in history of magic." Slaine sniffed, and dug into some sort of chicken. She could do more than that, except so could everybody else, so nobody noticed. Then she decided she liked the chicken taste. And besides Draco Malfoy wasn't that important. ...Unless he was a ferret, of course, and bouncing around, because that had amused her to no end.

Professor Severus Snape watched the transfer, Riley Clyde as she ate dinner. She seemed to be adjusting incredibly with the switch from Durmstrang to Hogwarts, but she had no idea where anything was...the professor's would eat her alive if she was constantly late for the first week or so of classes (first year classes started three minutes later than the other years, for that very reason). She would have to have someone show her where everything was...preferably not Mr. Malfoy, as he didn't want any excuses for lateness that involved rumpled clothing in the slightest. And it couldn't be an incredibly large burden for the other one, either...rolling his eyes; the potions master decided that students were horribly annoying. It should probably be someone in her dorm, who commanded presence. Thinking, he came upon the perfect candidate...alright, so she fell short of every requirement, but they were in the same dorm, and Slaine did need to talk to people her own age more.

The feast ended slowly, with the last of the food sitting forlornly in their platters, while students leaned back in their chairs (well, except for the brussel sprouts, because most of them were still there. So they weren't forlorn!). Finally, Albus Dumbledore got up, and told all the students not to stay up too late, as they had classes in the mornings, and, regretfully, sleep was not an acceptable excuse for missing class. Students began to file out of the great hall, heading for their common rooms, and then their dorms. As Riley began to leave, following as Malfoy began to immediately point out that there was a bunch of portraits of people related to him in the school, so he had to be important. When a tall, hook-nosed man swept down upon the two, Riley almost thanked him.

"Ms. Clyde? How are you finding Hogwarts so far?" Snape asked, despising the petty pleasantries it seemed necessary to spew before one could get down to business. Riley shrugged.

"I haven't been here very long, but so far, it seems pretty good." She said, offhandedly. Slaine, who was intent on leaving to her dorm (she'd shoved a bunch of gory books in her trunk, and 'The Relic' called.), brushed past Snape.

"'Scuse me, professor." she said, sounding more awake than she had for the past hour.

"One moment, Slaine." Snape said, and Slaine stopped, turned around, and looked at Professor Snape inquisitively. It was, Snape had always thought, a disturbing sight, when Slaine was curious. For one thing, her eyes seemed to get impossibly glassy, and Trelawney-ish. Another was that she would stare like that until her curiousity was sated. And she'd do it without blinking.

"Riley, this is Slaine Murphy. She'll be showing you around Hogwarts until you can find your own way." Snape introduced the two. Slaine blinked once, twice, and three times, opening her mouth in silent amazement. Riley tried to glare, but the painful shock made it difficult. Finally, both in sync, they managed to gasp out a single word-

"WHAT?!"

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Oh god...that took FOREVER...sorry for the delay. I blame it all on someone else...I blame it on KAKASHI!!

Kakashi: looks up from raiding Erin's fridge What?

Anyways, hopefully the next chapter'll be here soon!


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